Death, Is Only The Beginning
by CrimsonEyedKitty
Summary: . "I wanted so badly to be human again. I felt so cold, so empty, so dead." After being changed into a vampire, young Mira struggles to find her place in the world. She is haunted by her past, and forced to face her future. -Warning: BD spoilers!-
1. Chapter 1

_The song for this chapter is What Have You Done by Within Temptation._

**Chapter one.**

MPOV

I glared up at the ceiling. I wasn't sad, not really. To be honest, fury was probably the only thing I felt right now. And hatred, pure hatred. Not towards her, no, never her. I could never hate _her_. No, I was hating myself. I was so furious at myself for ever letting this happen. I knew, somewhere deep down inside, that this wasn't just _my_ fault, but it sure did feel like it. It was after all me who did it. I really didn't mean to cut myself that first time. I truly didn't. It wasn't like I'd planned for this to happen, it just did. One moment the knife was lying on the table, and then suddenly it was on the floor, covered in my own blood. I'd stared at the wound for a long moment, just watching the blood slowly drip from it. _Drip, drip, drip_. Just like the rain on the rooftop. It hadn't hurt, I was already too numb for that. But it made me feel alive, and I'd been kind of glad that there was something that I could control in my life. I could control my pain. And later on, I'd realized that with that, I could also control my death. I didn't have anything to live for, not after everything that had happened. I didn't have a place in this world. So why stay in it any longer? I could see it very clearly, the memory, of when I purposefully went down into the kitchen and took the knife out of the drawer. I'd made sure the cuts were much deeper than that first time, and I'd made many more of them. I'd started on my wrists, moving up to my elbows, making deep, messy cuts. My blood had been _everywhere_. And it was there, lying on the floor, slowly fading into the darkness of my death, that I realized what I had done. But it was already too late by then, and I knew I could never be saved. That's when s_he_ showed up. I gritted my teeth as I thought about her. At first when I saw her, I'd thought she was an angel. But when she started biting me everywhere, my neck, my arms - and even my legs - that was the moment I started to panick for real. _Okay, dying I could deal with, but what the fuck was wrong with this person? _was the exact thing I'd thought. But then I couldn't think anymore, because my body went numb with the pain. It was like fire in my veins, burning me. I couldn't even scream. I'd wanted to. I'd wanted to scream at her to make it stop, ask her why she was doing this to me, and just _scream_. But I couldn't. The pain was too overwhelming. It'd blinded my vision and made me see red. Or maybe I'd just been seeing my own blood everywhere. It didn't really matter.

I stood up from the bed and walked over to the mirror. I stared at the girl I saw there, the girl I didn't know, but she was still so familiar. Her ravenblack hair fell down her back in thick, wavy curls, and her piercing eyes were a crimson red. Just like my blood. They used to be a sparkling emerald green, they should be green. But they weren't. Not anymore. I felt a sting of loss as I took in my pale white skin. It was strange to think that just three days earlier, it'd been a beautiful light tan. The chalky color was beautiful too, but it wasn't the same beautiful. My real skin colour was natural, normal. This was inhuman, and otherworldly. It wasn't _me_. But still.. I could still see myself in there. These were my same bowshaped eyebrows, the same full, red lips, the same straight nose, the same catlike eyes. But it was all too perfect now. I didn't even have birthmarks anymore. I was completely flawless. I laughed out loud without humor at the many times I'd complained about my appearance. And now that it was perfect, totally flawless, I hated it. I wanted so badly to be human again. I felt so cold, so empty, so _dead_.

"But this was what you wanted, right? You _wanted_ to be _dead_! _You killed yourself!" _I screamed at my reflection, and sobbed quietly. I couldn't even cry anymore.

I heard the footsteps long before the door opened. A little girl, about eight years old, with bronze hair and chocolate brown eyes was standing in the doorway. Her skin was just as white as mine, but I could hear her heartbeat.

"Why were you screaming?" she asked me, her eyebrows pulling together in a concerned expression.

I sighed. "It's none of your business. Please, just go away. Just.. Just leave me alone, okay?"

She nodded, but hesitated with her hand on the doorknob. "I know it's hard to accept it at first, I understand it. You don't have to be scared, you don't have to go through this alone." Her voice held more maturity than any other I'd ever heard. It was like she was a thousand years old, the way she spoke with wisdom. But I was too furious to notice it.

"I am _not_ scared," I said in a hard voice and set my jaw.

"Nessie! Nessie, where are you?" I heard a man's voice call from downstairs, desperation coloring his tone.

The little girl turned on her heel and closed the door behind her without another word.

"Relax, Jacob. I'm here," I heard her say, and covered my ears. I didn't want to listen to anything, I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to cry. But I couldn't. Not anymore.

I walked back over to the bed in one swift movement. I curled myself up in a ball on the bed, and rested my head on my knees. I closed my eyes and blocked out all sounds. I knew I couldn't sleep, I'd already figured that out, but I still had to try. I wondered if this was death. If there was no heaven, and no hell. Just humans and monsters. I knew I wasn't dead, though. Or maybe I was. Maybe this was what it meant to be dead. It sure did feel like it. I buried my face in my hands and turned off the light.

* * *

A/N: This is my new fanfic. It takes place after Breaking Dawn - as you can see, Renesmee is about eight years old. Mira, the main character, is me. I'm pretty knew to fanfiction so please review and tell me what you think! :)


	2. Chapter 2

_The song for this chapter is How To Save A Life by The Frey._

**Chapter two.**

APOV

I walked slowly down the dark street. I could see a light in the window of the house I was looking for. I wasn't really spying on her, just kind of checking if everything was alright. Or that's what I told myself, at least. They were after all family. Michelle, my sister Cynthia's daughter, and her daughter Mira.

I had only taken one step on the stone pathway that led up to the house when I fell down on my knees, and had a vision. I could see her clearly. She looked so much like me. I watched in horror as she took out the knife and started cutting her wrists. Suddenly, I regained my sight and hurried to the house. I knew it was only seconds until she would bleed to death, and she would die unless I did something. I had to save her, but there was only one way. I didn't have enough time to take her to Carlisle, like Rosalie had with Emmett. I kicked the door open and ran into the kitchen. She was lying on the floor in her blood. It was everywhere, and I thanked God that I'd fed earlier the same day. The scent was overwhelming, and I was only able to stop myself from drinking her blood by reminding myself that this was my little sister's granddaughter. I kneeled beside her and started biting her motionless body, spitting my venom into the wounds. I didn't even have to think about it; I just acted on instinct. I had to save her. I couldn't let her die, I just couldn't. Even if it meant cursing her with the gift and burden that was my own immortal life.

Her body suddenly tensed, and her mouth opened in a silent scream. I could almost see her skin faintly paling, as the venom spread through her body. I bent down and picked her up into my arms. I didn't bother walking at normal speed, I ran as fast as I could to my yellow Porche and put her in the backseat. I knew she wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon, so I closed the door and locked her inside. Good thing the windows were black.

I couldn't leave the kitchen in such a messy state, it would give Michelle a heartattack, so I ran back to the house and cleaned up all the blood in vampire speed. Next, I ran up the stairs and into the room I knew belonged to Mira. I opened her schoolbag and found a notebook. I ripped one page out of it, and faked her handwriting.

_Mom, _I wrote._ I'm sorry, but I have to go away for a while. Be back soon. Don't look for me. Love you, M._

I had no clue if this was something that Mira would write, but I had to try and explain her absence somehow. When I was done writing the note, I returned the notebook back to the schoolbag, ran downstairs, and out of the house. Once outside, I stopped, and breathed in the fresh evening air. Down the street there were houses, and inside the houses lived happy families that had no clue vampires even existed and nor did they know that I had just doomed my niece to become one. Immortal life wasn't easy, but I was pretty sure it was better than death. At least Mira would be able to be around people, her friends and family -- after a year or so. But at least she wasn't _dead_ dead. Just.. vampire dead. And besides, being a vampire did have it's perks. Like supercool superstrength and speed, not to mention the astounding beauty. Mira was already pretty, so she would probably look like a freaking model when the process was over. Or maybe she would look just like me, only taller.

I picked up my pace, and ran back to my car. I got in the driver's seat and drove out of the street, and out of the city, going way over the speed limit. I shot a glance at Mira where she was lying in the back seat of the car. Her body was in an odd position; her back was arched, her mouth still open in that silent scream, her legs were almost sickeningly tangled, and her right hand was bent down strangely, her fingers brushing the floor.

I turned my eyes back to the road, and I knew they would be filling up with tears now if I'd been human. Had I really done the right thing? Did she really want to be saved? She had tried to kill herself, that was obvious. So what right did I have, to save her? But Carlisle had saved Esme when she'd tried to end her life. It wasn't the same situation, though. Not even close. As far as I knew, nothing bad had ever happened to Mira. At least not as bad as losing her child. She didn't even have a child to lose. I sighed to myself, and tried to concentrate on driving. I didn't want to think right now. Right now, I just wanted to get my niece's limp body to Carlisle.

The drive to Forks wasn't that long, since I was driving so fast. We got there before midnight. Edward, Jasper, Carlisle and Bella all came running out of the house as I pulled into the driveway. Of course Edward had read my mind, and knew what was going on. Jasper offered to carry Mira, but I shook my head at him. I wanted to take her myself. I felt that she was my responsibility. I was after all her murderer. I cringed internally as that thought crossed my mind. I was a murderer.

"You are no such thing, Alice!" Edward said with an outraged expression. "You did what was necessary, what all of us would have done in your shoes."

And for once, I didn't answer. I just bit my lip awkwardly like Bella used to do back when she was human. I ran upstairs into my room and laid Mira verygently down on my bed, even though I knew that she could be hit by a bus on full speed and not feel a thing. The pain of the transformation completely took over your body, and blinded all of your senses. I remembered it very well; it was the only thing I remembered from being human. That horrible, overwhelming pain.

I sat beside her for three whole days, not moving, not speaking, not feeding. Just watching Mira's limp body tense once in a while, listening to her screams, watching the color fade from her tan skin. Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Bella, Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, Nessie -- and even Jacob -- all came and tried to get me to move, tried talking to me.. But I wouldn't move from her side. I couldn't leave her, not after what I'd done. All of them offered to stay with her so that I could go feed or something in that direction, but I refused. Mira was my responsibility now.

And on the third day, she woke up. Her skin was just as chalky white as mine was. Her birthmarks had disappeared, and her features were now perfectly flawless. The only thing that hadn't changed about her was her hair. Her eyes were a sparkling crimson red, like flaming blood.

"Where.. am I?" she asked, and her voice was an octave higher than it used to be. She seemed to notice that fact, and her eyes widened. "What did you do to me? Who are you?"

"My name was Mary Alice Brandon, once. Now I'm Alice Cullen or rather Alice Withlock. I'm you grandmother's older sister," I told her quietly. My voice was only a low whisper, but I knew she could hear me.

Her eyes widened even more, alarmed now. Then she seemed to relax a bit and her expression turned peaceful. "Does that mean.. that I'm in heaven?" she asked in a small voice.

I sighed. My - and Jasper's - room was very beautiful, I'd designed everything in it myself. Everything was in light colors of blue, green, yellow and white, with some pink thrown in here and there. I could see how she would mistake it for heaven; the comfy feather-pillows, the silk curtains, the beautiful antique-looking mirror..

"No, you're in Forks, Washington." I smiled at her weakly.

Her eyebrows pulled together. "What? But.. but.. No, that can't be right. You died almost a hundred years ago!"

"_Death, is only the beginning_," I murmured, this time so low that even her vampire ears couldn't hear it. "Mary Alice Brandon died almost a hundred years ago, yes."

"I don't understand," she said, frowning a bit.

"Mira.. what do you know about.. vampires?" I asked her slowly.

She raised one eyebrow sarcastically, mockingly almost. "Vampires? Oh, please. They're not real, just stuff in TV and books. But if you insist.. I know that sunlight burns them, holy water and crosses too, you can kill them with stakes, and they drink blood. I think that's about it."

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. "Then I have a lot of explaining to do."

"Explaining?" she repeated, her voice almost dripping with sarcasm. "What, are you going to explain to me how you're a vampire and that now you've made me one too or something?"

As she spoke, the words seemed to sink in. Her eyes widened again, and she gasped. "No!"

I nodded, my expression serious again. "Yes."

"But! But.. But that can't be! Vampires don't exist! They're not real! You're dead! You're fucking _dead_!" she screamed, and sobbed, burying her face in her hands. Jasper, Edward, Emmett, Carlisle and Bella burst into the room just then.

"I'm-I'm sorry. I thought.. We heard screaming.. We thought she.. Sorry," Jasper said awkwardly and turned around to walk out of the room. Edward and Emmett followed him, but Carlisle and Bella stayed.

"Are you alright, Mira?" Carlisle asked her in a gentle tone.

"Does it look like I'm alright?" she growled, still not looking up. "I'm a fucking vampire, I'm fucking dead, she fucking turned me into a _fucking vampire_!" She was screaming again, furious this time.

Bella walked over to her, and gently sat down on the bed. She didn't say anything as she took both of Mira's hands in hers and pulled them from her beautiful face.

"Mira. We know this is hard. Especially me, I'm the newest vampire here. Look at me, Mira," she said. Her voice wasn't as gentle as Carlisle's. It was commanding and her tone said suck-it-up. That method seemed to work.

Mira raised her head up and looked at Bella. She gasped as their eyes met. Bella's eyes were still bright red, though they had a bit of orange in them now, so they looked like blazing fire. Bella had only been a vampire for one and a half year or so.

"You're so.. beautiful," Mira said in a stunned voice.

Bella smiled. "Thanks. You should see yourself."

She grasped Mira's hand and towed her out of the bed. Bella led her to the mirror, and made her face it. Mira gasped again as she looked at her reflection.

"What the-?" She didn't seem to be able to finish the sentence. "M-my eyes, w-why..?" Her lower lip was trembling, making her stutter, and her eyebrows were pulled together in a gesture of loss and confusion.

"I know it's hard to believe it. They won't always be like that, though. They'll change. First they'll be like that, then they'll look like mine, and at last you will have the same eyecolor as Alice and Carlisle here," Bella told her. "Speaking of which, leave. Both of you."

I frowned, and my hands gripped the sides of the chair I was sitting on. This was _my _room, she couldn't command me out of here. And why was Bella acting like that, anyway? She reminded me of a military captain or something.

"Alice. Go. Now." Her voice was cold, and her eyes were piercing.

"Why?" I asked stubbornly.

"She needs to be alone," was her wistful answer. I raised my eyebrows, and she added, "I'm going to show her to her room, and then leave her too."

Mira swallowed. "Room? What do you mean? Why can't I go home?"

"Because," Bella said. "You're a newborn vampire. You'll have to stay with us for a while. You can have Edward's old room."

Mira pursed her lips and nodded. I followed them out of the room, and went downstairs with Carlisle. Jasper was sitting on the sofa with Emmett, watching a movie. Well, Emmett was watching the movie, while Jasper stared blankly into space. I sat down next to him and he pulled me into his lap, cradling me in his arms like a baby. I could feel emotions of love and happiness spread through me.

"Aw, come on, man! I'm trying to watch 2 Fast 2 Furious here, cut it out!" Emmett groaned.

Jasper smiled, but didn't respond. Instead, he turned to me.

"Are you okay?" he asked with a concerned expression on his face.

"Yeah," I sighed. "I mean, I guess so. It just.. It feels weird, you know. Like I've committed a horrible crime. And the worst part is that I really have."

He nodded. "I know. But, Alice, it isn't your fault."

"Yes, it is! If I had watched out for her better, if I had known what was wrong, what could drive her to such extremes.. I could have stopped it, Jazz. I could have saved her. But instead, I killed her!" I sobbed. He tightened his arms around me and leaned down to kiss my forehead.

"Shh.." he murmured. "Don't say that. You didn't kill her, Alice. You really did save her. Maybe not in the way you would have liked, but just the same, you saved her life."

I didn't say anything, just laid there in his strong arms like we were the only people in the world. It was like Emmett wasn't even in the room.

"I love you," I whispered. He didn't answer, but the emotions that went through me told me that he felt the same way.

"Yeah, okay, that's it. Are you trying to make me fall in love with you, Jasper? 'Cause it's not working," Emmett said in an annoyed tone and my eyes snapped open. I hadn't even noticed I'd closed them.

Jasper chuckled and stood up from the couch. He carried me up the stairs to our room, and put me down on the bed. Then he crawled under the covers and pulled me close to him.

"I love you, too," he said and smiled. He was so beautiful, even if he was scarred. He was my Jasper.

"Love you three," I joked.

He laughed. "Love you, four, Alice."

"But I love you more," I finished in a whisper.

"Oh, I don't think that's possible," he whispered back playfully. He pulled me closer to him and kissed my lips.

My expression turned serious when we broke the kiss. "Thank you."

He smiled warmly. "Don't mention it."

* * *

A/N: Alright, folks! This chapter is from Alice's point of view (obviously) and Mira's death is explained here. It's the first time I write anything from Alice's POV ever, so please tell me your opinion on it. I'm very quick tempered - as you may have noticed - both in the story and in real life. And since personalities are sharpened once vampired, I have a very quick temper in the story. But anyway; review and tell me what you think! :)

Also, if you've got any questions don't hesitate to ask via PM or e-mail.


End file.
